


A Sword to Pierce the Sun

by XxSwanSongxX



Category: Dragon Age - All Media Types
Genre: Other
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-30
Updated: 2018-08-30
Packaged: 2019-07-04 10:36:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,504
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15839499
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/XxSwanSongxX/pseuds/XxSwanSongxX
Summary: Simon Trevelyan tries to be a good templar. A good father. But the world does not seem to share his need to protect that which he holds most dear. *Starts about the same time as DA2, follows events of DA2 & DAI*





	A Sword to Pierce the Sun

It was the quiet mornings that seemed to be the rarest sight in the circle. There was almost always something happening; templars training in the courtyard, enchanters teaching their apprentices in the libraries, at least two of the colleges arguing over one form of minutiae or other. Always one noise clamoring with another for attention. But every now and again, both the mages and templars would be blessed with one morning where they could sit quietly in the dining hall and eat breakfast in peace. It was almost a sacred thing, the quiet. And no one, not templar, apprentice, enchanter, or knight-captain wanted to break the blessed silence. The rest of the day would soon come down on them hard, and all the noise and routine would come back, now was the time to eat and be glad that there was relative peace to be found even in the Gallows.

There had been that feeling in the air when Simon woke up. That this morning would be one of those special few days. The week had been a long one thus far, and would be longer still, what with being the official escort and bodyguard to the Grand Cleric herself. The first boat leaving from the Gallows to the docks wouldn't be arriving until at least 7 o'clock, and waking up at 5:30 that morning would give him plenty of time to do as he pleased until his day officially began. The kitchens opened at six, and when Simon had finally finished donning his full plate armor and descending to the great hall, the dining hall was already nearly packed to the brim with both mages and templars. Neither factions mingled. The room had been split in four by three long tables that dominated the hall. Mages filled two of the tables. The third was for the templars. At the front of the hall was the table that the Knight-Commander would sit at with all of her senior officers. But few of them ever deigned to eat with the mages. Simon was one of the few knight-lieutenants that took breakfast in the hall. All of the others had servants bring their food to their personal quarters. But Simon was originally from the Ostwick circle, where mages and templars had a much more familial relationship than those living in Kirkwall. There were many mages still in Ostwick that Simon considered his friends. Simon sat at his seat on the end of the head table and bowed his head in prayer. Servants quietly filled his goblet and set a plate before him as he prayed. He made a mental note to praise the cook for her ability to hire some of the best, and quietest, elven servants he had ever seen.

An alarm bell rang out overhead, causing all of the templars in the hall to look up in surprise. All of them, Simon included, pushed themselves out from their table or posts at the doors and began shouting orders at the mages that had yet to finish breakfast. Many bells were used throughout the day in the Gallows; bells to sound the morning benedictions, to tell the templars when combat drills were to begin and end, when lunch was available - a bell for nearly every damned occasion. But this bell, with its low gong that reverberated inside a person's chest, had one specific purpose and one alone to be used in the most dire of situations; an abomination had been set upon the circle.

The more experienced templars were corralling the mages, ushering them into the hall toward their living quarters. The Gallows would go into an immediate lockdown with all mages confined and secured within their chambers until the threat had passed. Those that lived in the large dormitories would be separated into groups of four with one templar assigned to each group. Enchanters and those that had their own rooms would be confined with only one templar at the door. Once secured, the unassigned templars would stand guard at the doors and hallways with only 30 feet between one another, while the more experienced templars and the senior officers would be the ones to hunt down the abomination and slay it.

A young initiate, frustrated by the how slow the mages moved while he barked orders at them pushed an elderly enchanter forward, knocking her to the ground. Cries of outrage flooded the hall as young apprentices helped the old enchanter to her feet.

"How dare you." A young mage, just recently passed his Harrowing, accused the templar. "You are no better than Tevinter slavers the way you treat us."

"Godric, leave him be. Get to your chambers." The enchanter weakly pulled the mage away from the initiate.

"Best listen to the old crow, boy." The initiate, who was younger than the Godric, pushed the mage toward the door. Godric relented, helping to usher the enchanter out of the hall. "It's a shame you knife-ears don't have better hearing." The initiate spat, flicking his finger across Godric's long, pointed ear.

"I've had enough of you this morning." Godric bellowed, his lithely form turning on the templar. Indignation quickly turned to fear as three templars joined behind the initiate, drawing their weapons in preparation for a fight.

"Not now." Simon bellowed above the racket. His voice a calming wave to stem the tension. The knight-lieutenant's sword was sheathed, but all could see the holy fury that raged in his eye. "Your charge is to guard the mages in their quarters, not slaughter them where they stand." He strode over to the young initiate and pushed himself between the templars and mages.

"Ser Trevelyan." The initiate argued. "We can hardly be expected to perform our duties when these animals refuse to be corralled."

"I saw no refusal." Simon stared down at the templar. He stood out among his templars, not only for his liberal and lenient treatment of mages, but because he also stood at a gargantuan six foot, eight inches tall. The eldest son of the noble Ostwickian family, Simon had the dark skin and wiry black hair of his Rivanni mother, the piercing blue eyes of his Orlesian descendant father, and the slight Starkhaven brogue of the nanny that raised him. "The mages were moving as ordered. It was you who started this confrontation. Secure the mages and report to your assigned post. Can you handle that, initiate?"

"Yes." The initiate mumbled.

"What was that?" Simon asked, pointing to his ear for clarification.

"Yes, Knight-Lieutenant." The initiate grumbled. It was louder, but still a grumble all the same.

"That's what I thought." Simon turned out of the dining hall, and began sprinting toward the main courtyard where the senior officers would be gathering for orders from the Knight-Commander. There they would strategize and come up with a plan to hunt the abomination within their midsts. Simon's mind couldn't help but wander to the rumors coming out of Fereldan. Not the gossip about the Blight and the Wardens trekking through the countryside in search of allies that the refugees brought with them, but the rumors that came out of the fallen circle. The Right of Annulment had been called down on Kinloch Hold; abominations had decimated the templar forces stationed there. The new Knight-Captain had come from Fereldan's circle tower. He had only been stationed in Kirkwall for a matter of weeks, but had been rather reclusive during his transition to the Gallows. Simon couldn't blame the man. He couldn't even begin to imagine what fresh hell a tower full of demons and abominations could become. Simon snaked his way through the narrow halls, stopping only to let mages pass with templar escorts. Once in the courtyard, he silently joined his peers as they awaited their orders. All of Kirkwall's senior officers were crowded around the Knight-Commander, listening intently to what needed to be done.

"And the abomination, Ser?" Another one of the knight-lieutenants asked.

"There is none." Meredith answered calmly. Her armor glimmered brightly in the morning sunlight. Meredith's assistant, Elsa, must have bidden some servant to polish it recently. There was no denying that Meredith was an impressive sight amongst the templars. The diadem she wore was not standard issue, but had been crafted for her by a dwarven surfacer smith. It hadn't gone unnoticed by many in Kirkwall that the diadem looked remarkably like the one Andraste was depicted to have worn.

"Excuse me?" The new knight-captain exclaimed from where he was quietly sulking. "Abominations are not threat to be taken lightly." He pushed himself into the center of attention to confront the commander.

"Stand down, Cullen." Meredith dismissed him with a wave of her hand.

"Do you truly believe now, after the massacre at Kinloch, is such a good time to be calling false alarms?" Cullen argued, refusing to let his frustration with this perceived slight go unanswered.

"Silence yourself, Knight-Captain." Meredith interrupted. "The is not an abomination at present, but Orsino has requested the aid of a vigil guard.

"Ser?" Another knight-lieutenant asked.

"There is a mage - a young woman who has been in labor for over seventeen hours. The chantry sisters and midwives aiding her are saying she is exhausted and fear her defenses against possession are weakening.

"A mage? In labor?" Cullen asked, astounded. It was known that fraternization between mages had taken place in the Fereldan circle, Cullen himself had nearly been guilty of it. If that Gray Warden hadn't conscripted her, Cullen might have had more than just a crush. But none of the mages had fallen pregnant in his time at the tower. The other knights, however, knew exactly who Meredith had spoken of.

Heldi Baumgarten, an enchanter originally from the Anderfells, was transferred to the Gallows five years ago; the same year Simon was transferred from Ostwick. There was no denying that she was absolutely beautiful, with plumes of crimson hair and brilliant green eyes. There had been many at the Gallows that had been enamored with her through her years at the circle - both templar and mage alike. Rumors would crop up every now and again that she had taken a lover, but were always pure speculation. A tale told by someone who heard it from a friend who heard it from a templar who heard it from a tranquil. Always through the grapevine. That was, at least, until her stomach started to grow round with child. There was extensive questioning from both templars and mages as to who her lover had been. Even the chantry sisters were curious as to who fathered her child. For months it seemed all anyone cared about was Heldi and the secret she was keeping. The mages wanted to know so they could figure out how she had not been caught. Though, some secretly suspected a templar had forced himself on her and she kept quiet out of shame - Ser Alrik was the prime suspect in those mages' lists of who the father could be. He had been known to take liberties with the mages before. The templars wanted to know because of the security breach her pregnancy presented; mages out of their quarters at night, or secret rendezvous locations that had yet to be discovered. The chantry wanted to know because a young, unwed woman had committed a sin in a house that was, by chantry logic, an extension of the chantry itself. Sin had been committed right under their noses and they wanted all parties involved found. But Heldi kept her silence. No one could draw the answer from the stubborn enchanter. Not even the very real fear everyone felt towards the Knight-Commander. Simon had stood guard at numerous interrogations the Commander held to figure the correct pressure point to push to get Heldi to speak. Even Meredith had her suspicions that the father was a templar and not just one of the other mages, and she needed to know if abuses had been shared. Meredith was strict and stern with the mages in her charge, but even she knew to punish those templars that took it upon themselves to beat and rape the mages in their care.

"Why does it matter?" Heldi had asked Meredith during their final interrogation. Even after five years in Kirkwall, Heldi's Anders accent was thick and nearly unintelligible when she got riled up. "You will take my baby away the moment she is born. I will have no say. The father will have no say. If she is lucky, she will be raised in the chantry. If not, she will be just another urchin in Darktown. You don't give one damn about my baby. So why should you care who created her while he fucked me in some broom closet?"

It had taken every ounce of self control Simon had not to start ugly laughing at Heldi's defiance of the Knight-Commander. It had also taken same amount of control for Meredith not to slap Heldi across the face and confine her to her quarters for the remainder of her pregnancy. Not many in Kirkwall would dare speak to Meredith like that. But if anyone would, it would be Heldi. She had grown up surrounded by starvation and darkspawn. One templar commander was no match for that level of fear. Meredith dismissed the enchanter and bade Simon escort Heldi back to her quarters. That had been the last time Simon had seen Heldi. He had been reassigned to guard the Grand Cleric after that day, and hadn't had a free moment to himself in nearly two months. Heidi's stomach had been large even then, and it had killed him not to reach out and feel that child - his child - growing.

As an enchanter, Heldi had her own private chambers in what had been deemed Enchanters Row; an entire hallway of private rooms lived in by the senior mages. Her room was snug, and cramped, as it was still a room that had been converted from a prison cell. One large chest hugged the wall directly to the left of the door. A small writing desk to the right. A vanity full of the finest perfumes and makeups directly across from the doorway. Held was anything but vain, but she did love the luxury looking like a true lady afforded. And snugly tucked into the far corner stood Heldi's bed. It was a hard mattress, given to lumping oddly in the bottom left corner. The sheets were not the softest and in the summer, they were thick enough to cause Simon to sweat all night long. Heldi would laugh at his complaints. "You should try living in Hossberg." Heldi would sleepily yawn before turning over to leave Simon to roast. How many nights had Simon snuck down to this room, to that bed? How many times had she scolded him for sneaking around the Gallows like a thief in the night? But even so, she would pull him into bed with her, smiling at him, staring at him with those beautiful green eyes he loved so. He would kiss each eyelid before he would grudgingly leave her side before daybreak at the next rotation of the guard.

Simon stood outside her doorway after walking through the Gallows in silence. There were templars crawling everywhere it seemed that day, and if he made a move to touch her or allowed himself to be invited in, they would have been found out.

"How much longer?" He asked, staring lovingly down at the round bump that was his child.

"Soon." She smiled up at him. Simon stood nearly a foot and a half taller than her. "The midwives give it a month or two. I think she'll be right on time."

"She?" Simon asked amusedly. "You do know I am the oldest of seven brothers?"

"Well, it's about time the Maker blessed the Trevelyans with a daughter." Heldi chided, her green eyes beaming from behind auburn bangs. "The name could stand for a bit of calm."

"She'll be a hellion because you said that."

"You may be a templar, but I can still cuff you upside the head." Heldi joked, her arms wrapped lovingly around her pregnant belly. Simon reached out a gloved hand to touch the bump, but quickly lowered it. One of his brethren could come at any moment and see the pair of them. It would be best for both he and Heldi to keep his hands at his sides. Simon wished daily that he would have touched her, held her cheeks in his hands, kissed her lips. Run away with her. There was a sadness that radiated from her. Sadness that the child would be taken away as soon as it was born, that she would never get to raise her child and watch it grow. Never get to know if her child would inherit her magical abilities. Simon felt it too. Although, he would have a little more leeway in terms of seeing the child. By all rights, it would be given over to the chantry once it was born, and if he were to remain as Elthina's bodyguard, he would be able to check in on the child from time to time. See that his child was being treated well, receiving a proper education, happy. But Heldi would be stuck in this prison wondering what would become of her baby. Simon would be able to tell her news of the child, but it would never be the same as getting to be a part of her life.

Although he knew Heldi's forced separation from the baby was something he could never truly understand, Simon feared that loosing the baby to the chantry would break their relationship. He loved her more than he had ever thought possible. After joining the order, Simon had been ready to give up all worldly possessions and vices. But he needed Heldi. Needed her laughter as much as the nights spent in her bed. There was no future for them. No option for marriage or any other children - Heldi could not handle the loss of another one - no option for them to run away and live as an apostate out in the wilds somewhere. Heldi thrived in the safety of the circle. Nowhere in southern Thedas could compare to the Anderfells, but she would never go back to a world where she had to fear being hunted by monsters or men. For all of the troubles the circle had, she was safe here. Safe with her apprentices and her research. She even felt safe surrounded by the templars. She was a powerful enchanter who had passed her Harrowing, Heldi felt no fear of them or the Rite of Tranquility. And Simon felt as though he would die without her.

To say that he didn't love Heldi would have been a sin. Simon had fallen in love with her the moment she first smiled at him. There had been an accident in the library; one of her apprentices' spells had gone beyond his control and he started a small fire on one of the reading tables. Heldi easily suppressed the fire before it could cause any real damage. But Simon had been standing duty right next to them. She merely looked to him, smiled, and quipped about the dangers of making one of the few safe places a mage could practice a highly flammable library. And Simon was hers. Heldi could have fled from the circle and he would have gladly joined her.

Their affair had lasted for three years because they had been careful; limited interaction during the day, if forced into a situation to talk to one another, they would act formally if not a little cordially with one another. No touching, no hand-holding, no staring wistfully into one another's eyes. Hell, no talking to one another unless forced to do so. They only met at night. It was safest and easiest for Simon to sneak into Heldi's room during guard rotations late at night. No one cared if the knight-lieutenant walked through Enchanters Row while the guards were changing. Those going off duty were too tired to care, and those coming on weren't awake enough yet to notice the odd number in the shift. They couldn't meet nightly, that would throw up too much suspicion, and Simon couldn't bring himself to abandon his post on the nights he actually did have to patrol the Gallows. But they made sure to meet in her room at least once a month. In between those trysts, Simon and Heldi were able to pass letters to one another by placing them in pre-determined books in the library. Or, by passing official looking letters to a servant that needed to be delivered urgently. Simon preferred to leave his letters in the books; it was more romantic that way. Heldi would playfully scold him; tell him, "if you wanted romance, you should have stayed out of the order and married some weepy Orlesian." Practicality was the key to survival in Heldi's mind. It had to be. Growing up poor and hungry in some remote Anders village, so small and removed from the civilized city of Hossberg that her village didn't even have a single king's guard stationed there. The desert and darkspawn both threatened to retake the village daily. There were Grey Wardens that patrolled not too terribly far from the village, and could be called upon if any blighted creatures came out in force, but the villagers knew from a young age you fend for yourself or you die.

Coming into magic was both a blessing and a curse for Heldi. On the one hand, the people of the Anderfells were pious to a fault and viewed magic more harshly than even Knight-Commander Meredith did. And, while there was a circle in Hossberg, majority of mages who passed their Harrowing were recruited by the Wardens. Unlike in most other countries where Wardens and darkspawn were virtually forgotten in between Blights, the Anderfells' Wardens were still locked in constant battle with the Darkspawn that began in the Fourth Blight and would never seem to end. They needed all of the recruits they could get their hands on. The Anderfells' Wardens had no qualms about who they conscripted, be they mage, murderer, or chantry mother. If they could hold a weapon and were at least marginally decent at it, they could be conscripted. But, for her entire apprenticeship, Heldi lived safely in the circle's walls where neither hunger nor darkspawn could touch her. She knew from a young age that the Wardens had their eyes set on her. She was talented with an indomitable will and drive that got her through her Harrowing just four years after coming into her magic. But Kirkwall requested new talent and she was shipped off to the Gallows before the Wardens could claim Right of Conscription over her. Heldi would never stop thanking the Maker for that small miracle. She never wanted to see another darkspawn again, and Kirkwall had yet to fall to the blighted beasts.

Heldi flourished in Kirkwall. She had been given three apprentices and all the resources she needed in her studies. When asked what she studied, Heldi would simply respond, "The Fade." and move on with her time. If pressed further she would say, "I am looking for a way to break down the veil and unleash a horde of demons upon the world. Now shut up and leave me alone, lest you wish to be turned into a ghast." That answer did not earn her many friends among the templars of Kirkwall. Simon had heard through gossip that she hadn't spent much time in the library in the last two months. The midwives had put her on bed rest and been very strict in their orders.

"Seventeen hours?" One of the knights surrounding Meredith asked. "My wife was in labor for eight hours and that nearly killed her. Seventeen hours…" He pondered, completely mystified by Heldi's resolve.

"And that is why we are being called in to stand guard." Meredith barked, pushing past the throng of knights and lead them to the infirmary. On the way, she dispatched one of the newly promoted knight-lieutenants to make rounds in the living quarters to confirm that all mages are secured and accounted for. Simon's mind raced with fear, anxiety, dread, a mix of terrible feelings about what was happening now with Heldi and the baby. Something had to be terribly wrong for it to take so long. Simon had been ten when his youngest brother was born, and his mother had only been in labor for six hours when Cade was born. The longest labor his mother had endured was 12 hours with his middle brother Olivier. Something was wrong and he needed to be with Heldi. He needed to hold her hands and reassure her that she and the baby would be fine.

First Enchanter Orsino was waiting for the guard outside of the infirmary. He looked pained; worried.

"Orsino." Meredith greeted him coldly. "Any news?"

"Nothing has changed." Orsino replied, carding his fingers through his thinning hair. "If she cannot deliver the baby soon, more drastic measures may need be taken."

"Drastic measures? Simon questioned, a bolt of fear plummeting through his gut. If it would bring harm to Heldi or the baby, he would strike the First Enchanter down where he stood.

"Nothing magical, I assure you." Orsino replied, misinterpreting Simon's concern. "The midwives have said they may need to cut the child from Heldi."

"That's barbaric!" One of the knights baulked at the idea. He had been given to the order as an infant and had never so much as kissed a woman let alone witnessed one give birth.

"It is a common thing." Meredith replied. "Many times it is the only way to save both mother and child. We will stand vigilant." She reassured Orsino in an rather uncharacteristic show of compassion. Meredith gently squeezed his shoulder and nodded her consent to have her knights stand guard over the woman. Entering the infirmary, the templars were immediately met with the exhausted groans and whimpers of a woman in labor. None of the templars could see Heldi. Chantry sisters and mage healers were busy erecting a screen barrier around Heldi's bed. But they could hear the midwife yelling at Heldi to push.

"If you want this blighted thing out of you, you need to push, girl!" She ordered as another round of pained yells rang across the infirmary.

"Knights." Meredith distracted the templars from the unseen ruckus. One of the mage healers quickly scurried over to her, handing over a filter of prepared lyrium.

"Prepared as requested." The healer whispered as she released the lyrium into Meredith's grasp.

"Good." She nodded at the healer. "Form a circle around the screen. We will need to create an anti-magic shell around the woman." She turned her attention to the templars before taking a long drink from the philter then passed it to the templar on her left.

Simon hesitated when the philter was passed to him. As much as drinking lyrium helped improve his talents, it took hindered his ability to think straight. On lyrium this potent, there was the task he was given and nothing else. Whether it was suppressing magic or beating the shit out of something, lyrium made the whole world disappear. He did not want Heldi to disappear. Simon wanted to breach the screen and hold tightly on to her; to comfort her as she gave birth to their child. If any moment was the moment to prove to Heldi that he loved her, that mages and templars, magic and the chantry, none of it mattered more than her it would be now when she was most vulnerable and in need of his support.

Simon drank of the philter and kneeled on the ground next to the rest of the templars. Heldi was vulnerable, and that vulnerability would be what would draw a demon's attention to her. It was for her safety that he joined his brothers in suppressing her magic. Her safety and the safety of their baby. There would be time after the child was born to comfort her and console her. The lyrium flooded his system in a rush of pure adrenaline. Simon's vision clouded for a moment as the world around him slowed to a standstill and the light pouring in from the windows became unbearably bright. His mind grew fuzzy and white and even the most basic of thoughts became to difficult to process. He became weightless and infinite in that bright patch of sunlight. Then, as if being pulled through a key hole, Simon's mind focused with an intense clarity and he knew only one thing to be true; he must suppress all magic in this room. Heldi's cries of pain, the midwife barking orders, the sisters and healers scurrying about all became white noise that was easily forgotten. All that mattered was the task at hand. He stared blindly forward, seeing the sights around him but unable to comprehend them. Words would poke through now and again, so clear as if his mind were trying to push back against the lyrium, trying to remember that it was Heldi on that table, it was her screams in the background of his mind. Words and sounds to be expected in a delivery room. Simon did not know how long he stared blankly at that screen, time meant nothing to him as he focused on suppressing the magic he could feel flowing from Heldi like water.

Stop it, block it, contain it. Do not let your resolve crack. Do not let a moment of weakness through that wall your brothers have built. Do not endanger Heldi, the baby, the entirety of the Gallows because her screams pierce the back of your brain. Hold fast to that wall, that burst of energy and power the lyrium has given you. Hold fast to your only task. Hold. Suppress. Protect. Protect. The word protect reverberated in his mind endlessly as he focused his strength into keeping her safe.

Outside his mind were words. He knew these words, knew their meaning, but Simon was too deep to recognize the danger they heralded. Words like "failure to progress", "distress", "hemorrhaging". Simon heard them but did not understand.

Heldi's screams drew quiet, replaced by that of a shrill baby's cry. A sigh of relief flooded the sisters and healers. Calm. Quiet. But strangely sorrow. Simon continued to stare ahead blindly. He could still feel the weakness in Heldi's magic. She was quiet but not safe. He had to hold on tightly to the power of the blasted lyrium leash if he was to see her through this safely. But the lyrium was quickly draining from his system. Leaving him exhausted and afraid that he hadn't done enough to protect his love and child.

"She's gone." A voice broke through his focus. "We managed to save the baby, but by the time we cut the child from the mother… She needed a spirit mage to heal the hemorrhaging, and with your templars suppressing magic there was nothing that could be done…" Simon's vision finally cleared so that he could see a middle aged woman speaking to the Knight-Commander. Her hands were covered in blood and sweat, and crimson covered a smock she was wearing over her clothes. She looked weary and broken, having spent the last seventeen hours at Heldi's side, coaching her through the labor.

"What do you mean she is gone?" Simon asked drained. He stumbled to his feet, but found his strength and stepped forward toward the women.

"It is not your concern." Meredith dismissed Simon.

"What do you mean she is gone? What happened to Heldi?" Simon asked the midwife again, pushing past the Knight-Commander and grabbing tightly onto the small woman's shoulders.

"She's dead, Serah." the midwife answered simply. "We couldn't stop the bleeding."

"Dead?" He asked, confused by the word. She couldn't be. He was protecting her. Simon tore himself from the Knight-Commander and the midwife, pushing through the screen to look at is beloved Heldi. He heard Meredith dismiss the rest of the templars from the infirmary, but Simon could not have cared less if all of the world knew he was Heldi's lover and the father of her child. He just wanted Heldi back.

Everything was as it should be, except for the white sheet draped lovingly over what could have only been Heldi's body. Some of Heldi's hair plumed out beneath the sheet, exposing the strands in a halo of red around her covered head. But that was not what terrified Simon, rooting him in his spot. A matching mark of red had slowly spread across the sheet above Heldi's pelvis. Crimson blood so stark against the white sheet. The red hair told him this body was his Heldi, but his senses could not accept that. They could not accept the smell of drying blood, or the silence in the room, or the thought Heldi was actually gone. Bile rose in the back of his throat, and Simon had to choke back the vomit from the sight of her body. "No." He gasped.

Grief stricken, Simon stumbled forward towards the bed where Heldi lay. Murmuring no over and over again, hoping if he denied it hard enough it wouldn't be true. Simon fell to his knees at her bedside, clutching onto the blood-stained sheet as he began to openly cry. Wretched sobs wracked through him as he begged the Maker for this not to be true. Let it be a nightmare. Let him wake up now to see Heldi laying beside him and the baby cooing contentedly in a bassinet at their bedside. Maker, please let it not be true.

"Simon." Meredith's voice pulled him from his grief. Simon tried to ignore his commanding officer as she entered the somber area. "Knight-Lieutenant, pull yourself together." Meredith scolded him.

"Leave me be." He pleaded. One hand clutched at the sheet while the other found her long, curls of hair. Rubbing the strands between his fingers like a worry stone. He had done this on many nights when he woke before her. Staring at her as she quietly slept next to him, Simon would play with her hair until it was time for him to leave. A kiss for each eyelid and he would skulk away from Enchanters Row back to the Templar barracks.

"How long?" Meredith questioned, her voice growing hard as she came to accept the fact that Simon was the father. "How long was your affair?"

"Three years." Simon answered honestly.

"Why?"

"Initially? Because she invited me into her bed and it had been years since I had been with someone. But the last time? Was because I love her."

"And the child?"

"Is mine." Simon confirmed. "Is she a girl?"

"Yes, the child is a girl."

"Heldi told me she would be a girl."

"A mother's intuition."

"Where is she? My daughter?"

"The sisters have taken her. They will see to her needs before they take her to the cathedral to be dedicated to the Chantry."

"Can I not see her?"

"It would be for the best if we put this whole situation behind us, Simon. I will keep your indiscretions secret for you. For now. But believe me, Knight-Lieutenant, any more slip ups from you will see you thrown out from the order."

"Knight-Commander?" The midwife asked from behind Meredith. "The sisters are asking to be given the body so the may prepare it to be taken to the cathedral for funerary services." Chantry sisters would take her body away on the same boat Simon would have to take to join the Grand Cleric. Heldi would be given a proper Andrastian funeral pyre and her ashes buried in the city cemetery. He should go with them when they take the body; tell them she was from the Anderfells and would want her ashes scattered to the winds as was tradition in the desert country. But then he would have nothing left of her. No grave to visit. No place to properly mourn her loss. It was selfish, but he wanted the comfort of a grave marker.

"How?" Simon growled, grief turning quickly to rage. He stood from the floor next to Heldi's bed and stormed toward the midwife. "How did you let this happen?"

"She lost too much blood, Ser. By the time we made the choice to surgically remove the child, it was too late, Ser."

"Why did you wait so long?" Simon bellowed at the midwife. "Why didn't you make this decision sooner? Why did you wait seventeen hours to do your damned job and deliver my child!? You are the reason she is dead! Not the spirit mages, not the templars, you and your inability to act!" Simon screamed at the midwife.

"Stand down, templar." Meredith demanded, her hand ready at the hilt of her sword. "Or I will cut you down."

"I love her." Simon spat at the commander and pointed back toward Heldi's body, hoping that was all she would need to realize he needed to be left alone in his grief.

"And she is dead. That you had feelings for this mage does not matter any longer."

"How can you be so cold? One of the mages you swore to protect is… The woman I love is -"

"I am not without compassion, but here and now is not the place to bare your grief before the world. But she is gone, and let her death serve as a warning and a lesson. Fraternization between mages and templars will never be condoned while I am in charge of this circle. The chantry demands pious watchers and protectors of the faithful. This was a liberty that was taken that should never have happened. You are relieved of duty for the time being. I will see to it that Knight-Captain Cullen oversees the body's transfer into Chantry hands."

"No. Please. I need to go with her. I need to make sure our daughter -"

"Her daughter. The child of a mage, not of a templar." Meredith corrected him, already making sure her templars towed the official line. "Knight-Captain Cullen will accompany the body to the cathedral. You will remain here, and I will send another of the Knight-Lieutenants to accompany the Grand Cleric until you are fit for duty." Meredith warned with a sense of finality that meant if Simon tried to argue he would be forced out of the order and onto the streets. Simon hung his head in defeat. Before following the Commander out of the infirmary, he snuck one last glance at Heldi's covered body. Shuttering, trying to hold back anymore tears until he was back in his own quarters, Simon dutifully followed the Meredith out of the infirmary, leaving Heldi's slumbering body for the last time.


End file.
